20 years old; Lesson learned

Yesterday, I had a dream. 

I met my late friend, we're using spurs jerseys. When I look at his eyes, I said "Dly, are you tired?", and He stoned, not nodding, nor shaking his head either.  

I woke up to understand that there was an actual spurs match last night. 

Papa come back and shared a story of how his friend, had a stroke, and his other friend got a cut-off for the inability of the office to pay him. His daughter, has the same age as mine, needs to sell pulses to help her parents provide the daily living. Of course, not a chance for her to continue her study. 

My mom sit in front of me, said my cousins, which his parents divorced, ask for some admission fees to get into a state college. Also, in our business place, my mom said, the cashier, the helper, was at the age of me and my sister, need to work to provide their life. That night when I come to the office, one of them said that they studying English for the national exam. My eyes are teary, I came back home to eat the delicious food mom made me. I eat a lot everyday I even gain 6 kgs.

Sister of mine, which is only 1 year apart, live undirected. played piano all of her life, and watch some youtube videos. Yes, we had the facilities, we had it all. She play pianos for 3 years now and stop going to school. Bully bullied my sister for 10 years, and she decided to close her memories of school and started to do what she like and feel safe. In a public sight where school is the norm, my sister seen one-eye-folded.

A friend of mine drove me all over the place easily. Another friend of mine, only had 3 hours of sleep, yes different major, same school. And another friend of mine,  primary & JHS friends' to be exact, post things on their accounts, reflecting the amount of studies they get.

I, honestly feel like I've been living my best life. Being in the highest caste this life could give, I could do nothing and serve everything without having to try. I had unlimited time to rest, to eat delicious food, to sleep whenever I want, to watch things that made me happy, to have cash whenever I want, to get the best education, to gain people's respect, to sleep in a warm blanket, to live in a healthy state, to clearly open my eyes, and to breath one other day. 

The amount of blessings I had these 20 years is beyond that I could ever ask. To every good manifested in me, to every sorrow I thought I couldn't handle, to every night I cry a lot my eyes puffy, to every second I ain't use it well, to every chance sees me every time the sun rises; My thank you would never be enough nor my apologizes. I just wish everyone live their best life, to the amount that God had measured. I, promise I'll do my best to pay back & have a good life. Thank you. 

Pemuda, 18.03.2022

Vallel